Holidays approach. One more week of school before it's the study break. I've started studying and I really thank God that I've managed to do so.
I'm thinking about what's the meaning of life and all man. Yeah, I know, I know. I'm a Christian and all that. And God is the centre of my life... etc etc. I'm supposed to be really thankful for everything God has given me. I should be... but I'm just feeling more and more jaded with so many things in ministry, in life. Thinking about some stuff that I perhaps should not be thinking about.
What happens when one starts to get really jaded? Isn't church the worst place to get tired with? Like when you're tired with outside life you can go to church and seek God and all and make things right. But what happens when you're tired with your church? What happens when it feels as if no one is around to encourage. When you don't feel valued?
Of course, issues with the church and issues with God are two very separate issues aren't they?
Then perhaps it is time to go somewhere else for a little while. Perhaps not permanently yet. But perhaps a change of environment just to recoup.
I think I should stop right here. I do prefer to post more uplifting stuff, but yet I do want to allow a little bit of my frustrations to show. I don't want to fake it.
P.S. Most of the questions asked here are rather rhetorical, on retrospect. I AM able to answer them. I know the answer as to what to do when I get jaded. I know to seek God and do stuff that I enjoy. I understand the right thing to do when one is tired with church. I understand what steps to take when I don't feel that valued- and that's just to simply make sure that my walk with God is okay and that I value those around me. I know God is there for me. Though somehow sometimes I do feel that it would be nice with people actually there to pick me up.
It somehow feels quite nasty at times. Yet I've got so much to be thankful for. Yes, I know I know.
On a lighter note, Stan Chart is coming soon and I'm hardly prepared. I think I'll just somehow run a bit and walk the rest.