Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Ponderings

I'm sitting here at home as I type this post.

I just spent half the day at school studying.

It's been a very restful weekend. On Friday I thought I was working myself a bit too hard. So I went home. Besides a little bit of work on Friday night and Saturday morning, I stayed away from studying this weekend. I enjoyed Songfest and the Teachers' Day lunch for CM.

Perhaps there are just three things I'll talk about. Studying, peace and surrender.

Studying. What's the point in studying so hard and trying to build up one's GPA? That's a question I asked myself over this weekend. You see, there are so many people around doing their best to study hard (and that, by itself, is a good thing). In SMU, people are intent on building up their CVs, looking for future job prospects... etc. But will all these count for eternity?

For me, the challenge of faith in Matthew 6:33 remains. Will I seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness?

And while I am in this school, what should I be looking out for? It's something I'm starting to pray about again. I simply don't want my SMU life to pass without God's purpose for me here accomplished.

Peace. It's a topic that's been repeated in my life a lot as of late. Just two or three weeks ago I taught my Primary 6s a lesson titled "Don't Worry, Pray, Enjoy". The key scripture was from Matthew 6 (The whole portion on "Do Not Worry"), Philippians 4:6-7 and Psalm 23:1-3.

Then there've been BSF notes and lectures from John 14 to John 16.

And then there was the preacher this Sunday.

Just last night, I was praying for peace upon many different areas of my life. (There've been a couple of things that've been troubling me / making me concerned lately. And I've been praying for quite a few of these things for some time.) And I just felt God reveal something new about peace to me.

You see, we cannot fully experience God's peace unless we are willing to surrender fully to His will. This means that we must be willing to let God have His way, even if it is the total opposite of what we want. The peace does not come from an assurance that we will have things our own way. The peace comes from a certainty that God is in charge, that He will work it out for my good (not for my pleasure) and that ultimately, He is King over the outcome (even though it might be a painful outcome).

Peace comes from the knowledge that I have an eternity to spend with my Saviour. And that my reward comes when I meet my Maker.

Surrender. Let me give an example. Last week I was praying over many issues right? One of them was studies. I know it's only Week 2, but I'd begun to start struggling in a few of my modules. I just couldn't get what the lecturer was saying. And so I started to pray for God's peace over the matter. I asked that God give me intelligence and understanding over this subject.

But when I prayed for God's peace, what did that mean? It should have meant that I would no longer worry about the issue right? But that didn't happen. I just got more flustered and started to pray even more. But God showed me that the issue here isn't so much about me understanding the subject and scoring well for it . The issue here is whether I surrender this subject fully into His hands. The issue here is that I honour God in how I study as a student and that I give glory to His Name no matter how well or how badly I perform in this subject.

It means that I surrender the process as well as the outcome to Him. It means He has His way and His will is done in me.

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