Saturday, January 02, 2010

Sleepover and Other Matters

Well, just ended the last sleepover of this holiday season at Jeshua's place. As usual, there's always especially good food at his place, since it's done by Aunty Janet personally, not us amateurs. There's also a big plasma tv, which is perpetually on. That is good at times and bad at others. Was just thinking that at the end of this whole sleepover last night, there was very little deep talk. Only towards the end. But oh well, at least we watched two rather good films. Remember the Titans (which I feel still pales in comparison to Facing the Giants) and End of the Spear (if I got that right), bout Jim Elliot and his wife, as narrated by his son.

Everyone gets involved in moving the TV!

Thoughts of the Day...

I think... I think...

Let me share some of the thoughts I had today.

The end of TV Mobile. I was pondering over the last line of words on the screen. "Thank you for your support through the years." My first thought was "Haha, are you sure anybody was ever supporting TV Mobile in the first place?". Of course that was quickly corrected when two Chinese youth got into the seat across the aisle from mine and started to moan the demise of TV Mobile. One said that he had hoped to watch the World Cup on TV Mobile. (Which come to think of it, is a very strange statement. It would only make sense if say, he didn't have a tv at home, so he pays the bus fare to watch an entire world cup match? Prob would have to take the longest loop service available. Haha.)

On a deeper level, I thought about leadership. How does one really know that people are truly supporting him? I mean, I've led a couple of things. There've been times in the armed forces that I knew quite acutely that my men obeyed me only because they had to.

My secondary school VP, Mr Kwok once said something that made so much sense to me. He said that the respect a leader commands is not seen in him, but in the eyes of his followers.

There's an even deeper aspect to this. I might gain great respect of people. But if I myself am not fully dependent on God, then I am in deep trouble. I will one day fall from grace and all my followers will leave me. Then I will have nothing. No, I must fully depend and rely on God. Even then, I might one day be left alone again. But then I will have God, and it will be grace sufficient.

One of the concerns of my life is that people seem to respect me so much and have such a wonderful view of me. My instinct is almost to want to dig a hole in the ground and hide. I want to run off to a mountain to pray. The reason being that I know how fallable I am. Leadership can seem like a glorious thing. But when I take a step back and look at the full picture. When I see the holiness of God... I understand that I am hanging on to my end of the rope that leads to God. And I feel the weight of people hanging on to me. If I let my end of the rope go. If I let go of God, I fall off the cliff with the many people hanging on to me.

The solution seems to me to be to simply do what God has entrusted into my hands. And yet at the same time, I must be so careful to direct others to their own rope. That their walks and their faith be dependent on the Lord, not on me. If anything, I am an encourager, I am a fellow traveller. That is all I am. A fellow servant. Nothing more, nothing less.

Nothing more, nothing less.

No comments: