Monday, November 02, 2009

To arrange my thoughts

Here I am to arrange my thoughts.

Crusade: No Praise and Worship this Friday ( I truly truly appreciate Mike and Chris learning the actions on the train... I really do!... few friends would go through such stuff for me... and Mike's going Meta!! yay. Sarah come please. Shucks... this blog is beginning to sound like Chris' blog. Oh no. Back to normal mode).

BSF: Tonight we learned about how God can use circumstances to shape a person, as He did Moses (Tiew and Angela thanks for coming!- to Lowell: Grin grin grin. Our plan has materialised after many months).

My old battalion: Since Crusade is not having praise and worship, and I don't have to lead, that frees me up to go back to my unit for my men's ORD parade. And that is what I've really been thinking about the past few hours or so.

I've been thinking about whether to go or not. (I finally have decided to). A part of me felt like staying to hang out with crusade people. A part of me. The dutiful part, you might call it, just had to go back. And mind you, I'm returning to a place I couldn't wait to leave. It was a place of tears, sweat, pain. Of camaraderie with certain people, and the sharpness of a knife's thrust felt in the heart with others. It was a place of moulding- just as God moulded Joseph through the years as a slave.

I kind of didn't want to go back. And was really praying about it, for wisdom. In the end decided it's best to go back. I am a commander. I cannot hold on to my values and at the same time say no to going back. It probably will be a pleasant affair, yes, and everyone will be happy and smiling... but to go back and recall all that I've been through... well, that really got me quiet and thinking for quite a bit today.

All I've been through I say? Well, all that God has brought me through, more like. Today as I recalled the days in army, the hard times God led me through. I just remembered all the fearful times, when God taught me to fear Him more than anything else. That circumstances might be fearful, but that I am secure as long as I remain in the fear of the Lord.

So, I suppose that being myself, I will be the most contemplative person to be returning to unit on Friday evening. I may or may not show it. But I'm really thinking and praying- both asking for wisdom in all I do, and also thanking God for bringing me through so much in there. And asking for God-arranged encounters with the people I used to fight alongside with.

On a joyful note, I've got at least 3 friends helping out at Children's camp. Chris, her friend Joyce, and Joel. Appreciated, appreciated. Thanks so much!

This has been one amazing year, Lord. And I truly thank you for all you're bringing me through.

Now for a most enjoyable time of presentations from Wed to Friday.

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