Friday, November 13, 2009

Academic term almost ended


Rockwall at AJ. Those were the days. The awesome outdoors.

I was just thinking. If life had turned out the way I'd wanted it to. Say, 3 years ago. Then it would be quite awful now. In these 3 years, many things have happened in ways that I did not want them to happen. But right here, on the slopes of the mountain, I glance down into the valley and thank God for what He brought me through.

I remember that it was in 2006 or so that God showed me a mental picture of a valley with many battles to be fought. I guess that that was the time spent in the army. Now I'm out of that valley. Perhaps there are more valleys ahead. So be it. I will be brought through. It will be painful. I know hard times will come where God seems so far away. But they will be a necessary discipline, a crucial step in growth. I will not regret the training received in the end.

When we are in the valleys of our lives we need to remember that God has His purposes. He has His purposes in every challenge, every situation.

Just wondering what I'm doing here in SMU. Hopefully the small things I do will impact people. I've got to be faithful in the little things. Then again, what else? I recognise that I am not always able to rest. I like to run around doing stuff, often times tiring myself out. So I see this period of my life as a time of waiting on God patiently. Of seeking Him. Of growing in certain strengths. Particularly, this past week has been a time of rest. Of intended, non-studying time. What I consider to be proper rest is just spending time with friends, working out, much time spent meditating on God's word. And only very healthy activities e.g. playing the guitar. I tried resting by playing computer games. But that one hardly brings any rest. It leaves me feeling increasingly distracted, causes me to be spiritually insensitive. So while it can be fun, as much as I can, I don't want to play com games.

But just wonder whether there's anything else God desires for me to do around here. Just praying and waiting, and listening as much as I can. To be still and to wait upon God. That is where my strength arises from. I don't want to gain a shortcut on any season in my life. That would hardly be beneficial. So the only way is to rest in God right now and listen. And wait.

Want to thank God for a rather enjoyable term. For answering my prayers for steady Christian friends in school. And numerous other prayers. For good presentations, for speedy work on projects. I've been seeking God in many projects. In much school work. And it has been more than I can ask or imagine when I see how He brings me through everything. How He provides. Truly, may we all not forget to depend on our Mighty Fortress at all times.

The reason I did well for my Management Communications presentations is not that I am an exceptional speaker, but that God was gracious to provide. It was God I relied on, and any derived excellence is to His glory.

One of the things I've been praying for each morning is wisdom. Wisdom in my relationships, wisdom in my time management, wisdom in the way I handle every issue. That is part of the equation. Then there's also how in the midst of each situation, I pray for wisdom. I am far from the wisdom of Solomon, but I truly see how God has taught me so much this term. How God-given wisdom has brought me through a fair bit.

I've been praying for intelligence in academic pursuits too. That has really helped in quite a few subjects. F.A. in particular. I think I understand more in this subject because of God-given intelligence in it. Hard work is part of the reason, yes. But I mean, we can work so hard at such sums but never understand much. So I want to thank God for helping me to understand everything. And I must recall to use it to help others as well. For that is one of the reasons I gave God when I asked for intelligence in this subject.

There is still a little bit to study this sem. I'm looking forward to it. After so many painful experiences, truly, 1 Timothy 6:6 comes to mind. That godliness with contentment is great gain. I must be content, yes, if I have little material possessions. But I must also be content in every situation. To the God whose grace is sufficient. So yes, I am very much content, for there is much to be grateful for.

I enjoyed Jump and the ensuing dinner very much today. I enjoyed praying and all. I enjoyed the fellowship.

Just wondering how to be the salt and light of this world. How to be the salt of the earth, the city on the hill, the lamp on the stand. I do not want to do it by my own power. But by the Lord's might. That might of God, that touch of heaven. That is the saltiness, that is the beauty of that hill-city, that is the light of the lamp. To go by my own strength would be self-defeating in nature.

So I am in a rather pensive mood tonight. I've been for a couple of days. But it's been a prayerful few days. And I am very grateful for that.

One of the prayers which I often pray; I labour and plead to live it out, is the Leader's prayer:

Lord when I'm wrong make me willing to change
When I'm right make me easy to live with
And in all that I do let the power of my example
Far exceed the authority of my rank

That last part? Letting the power of my example far exceed the authority of my rank? That's the part I've been thinking about very much. The power of my example. Before men I must shine brightly. Before God I must shine spotlessly, as holy and set aside because of His blood. To the enemy I shine irritatingly and that is why the enemy will endeavour to hurl fiery darts in my way. For that reason I must hold up my shield and not let down my guard.

More than a few friends have been on my mind recently. And I look forward to spending some quality time with them. It's been some time.

It's been a long albeit excellent day.

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