Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Today

Today was good. Hanging out with many people.

My ending thought for today just before I hit the bed?

"Lord! I've got so much to do! Luke 12:48 (If I rmb correctly) says that unto whomsoever much is given of him shall be much required and unto who men have entrusted much of him they will ask the more. Help me leh, Lord. There is just so much to do. And I simply don't see how everything can be done. Give me the wisdom and strength I need. May your will in my life right now be fulfilled."

Just so many many things that seem to need to be done. LTB, various projects, Stewardship Sunday, (My auto-censor kicks in at this point....)

He who has brought me through times much much tougher than this. He will bring me through all that I am going through right now. That is where I have my guarantee, my assurance. And I know I am secure. Do I see my problems as a giant before me?

Or a dwarf before my God?

I guess that depends whether in my perspective I decide to put God into the picture at all.

My security is on the Rock. That is where it all starts, that is where it all ends.

ZZZ time.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Moses and the Glory of the Lord

Well, at least that's what the NIV header says.

Exodus 33: 12 onwards.

Moses said "...You have been telling me... If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favour with you... The Lord replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give your rest."...

Then Moses said to Him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How ill anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?""

A couple of things have happened lately that have caused me to ask God for a few things.

Firstly, what on earth is my purpose here in SMU? If it is not what I think it to be, then perhaps I might be wasting time doing what I do the way I do it? I don't like to waste time. I've got only a hundred years (IF I do make it to that grand old age) or so on this earth, I've got to give an account to God, and goodness, I don't want to waste any time.

(Then again perhaps I should not be impatient).

But seriously, I've been wanting to know God's purpose for me here. I guess I never fully knew His purposes for me in NS until I was out of it? And even now I still might not fully know what God was doing back then.

So perhaps I may not know. But at least I should know enough or be given enough wisdom. That as far as it is my responsibility to act, I will do so in a way that is fully in line with God's purposes for me.

Secondly, I've been asking for God's blessing. I seriously don't see the point in working hard and doing my best to produce excellent work and presentations if it is not going to get the blessing of God. That was why Moses (yes, I know I am no where near the stature of that man) sought God's presence to go up with the Israelites. This was after God had said He'd only send an angel up before the Israelites into the promised land but would not go in with them, because they were stiff-necked and He might destroy them anytime.

What I tentatively gather is that Moses did not want to settle for anything less than the full blessing of God.

I don't want to either.

Jacob. Many arguments as to why he was seen as righteous. He was a deceiver... etc etc etc. But then again, He sought the blessing of God. He did so by deceit/ getting Esau to forsake his birthright... etc etc. Esau despised his birthright. But in actual fact (okay, this is how I see it, at least), he was despising God's blessing. If he didn't already know (that would have meant he was extremely ignorant a lad), his grandpa had promises from God. And so did his dad. And Esau must not have been thinking much about that. He must not have thought very highly about the blessing of God. So while he went about his daily business hunting, he actually lost the blessing to Jacob.

Jacob sought God's blessing. I seek God's blessing too. I have recognised in the 2 decades and 1 year of my existence that victory does not come when I do my best or by my own talent or ability. It does not come by coincidence. It comes from the hand of God. Whether I do well or badly in school. In studies, in presentations, in relationships with friends. It is not going to come from anything but the hand of God. By obeying God's laws and with His blessing, success will come (think Joshua 1). If God does not bless, I do not see how I can succeed.

So yes, wisdom needed. Wisdom asked for. James 1 speaks of that.

Now I wait.

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.
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On a lighter note, I had a rather good day presenting in class today, I had a good LTB meeting. I had an enjoyable time at DG with Galvin, Jia Hao, Joel. Really enjoyed their companion-ship. Went Jump. Had dinner. Murtabak. Burp. Good stuff.

Ran only once this week. Yikes. I see atrophy and the production of adipose tissue already. And it's the mooncake festival period some more. Haven't been eating healthily this week (but at least I've been eating enough.)

Tomorrow have a Man Comms meeting. Have a FA class in the afternoon as well. 5 day work week? Ah. What to say?

Hope all my old friends are still okay. Glenn, Pam, Gab Lee, Gab Low, Mei Yan, Kwan Chin. Hardly see you guys around. Some of you I haven't seen for more than a year. Hope things are going fine. If you happen to be reading, how're you?

Yeah, Sarah Tan, Chris, Chloe. Appreciate the prayers and the help rendered. Michael all the best for VPH.

Jesh, Caleb, Jeshua, Lowell, Jeshua Chong, take care and hope to see you all SOON. Haven't been 3 out of 5 of you guys lately. Hope it's not a 2nd special forces assignment. (But seriously, am praying and would like to meet up soon)

12c Out.

Dear Daniel Li. Lalala.

The closing of the 27th Psalm.

Wait for the Lord
Be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A flashback and the now



Just wanted to thank God for the many wonderful moments He's put into my life. Here's a shot of one. Jesh and I on the beach. Well, actually it's just Jesh's butt on the beach. I'm still suspended mid-air, actually. Caleb's taking the picture.

Today I woke up. And I had the usual debate with myself whether or not to go for a run. And usually I conclude that I have to go for a run. And as usual after I am done I am very happy that I decided to. Running is rather enjoyable to me. Of course your body feels some pain when you run, but that is good pain. After a run and a work out. You bathe with cold water. Clean clothes. Ahhhh... That's life man.
I spent some time with God this morning. About an hour. Was very glad to do so. In perspective, all issues are dwarved by the power of God.
Tomorrow is a long day.
In the daily rushing around and completion of tasks. I need to consistently set time aside for God. I'm not referring to QT. That is already a given. I'm speaking of special time set aside for God, just to slow down and listen to Him. Isaiah 40:31 in KJV says that those who wait on God will mount up on wings as eagles. How do I do so? May the one who controls time teach me how to use it well.
So a question I must continually ask myself is this. Dare I to take time that could be spent doing productive studying/ other work and just sit down at the feet of my Lord Jesus? ("Dare" because I've got to trust God to provide) I've been noticing the words of the 127th Psalm lately.
Verse 3 "In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat- for He grants sleep to those He loves"

I've been pushing myself over the last couple of weeks to get stuff done. Rising early, sleeping late.
Dare I to trust God to provide.
Basically been trying to do my best. But perhaps I've overdone it a lil bit. I've been praying for wisdom to manage my time, academic intelligence amongst a slew of requests. God has been faithful, as He always is. I think I need to be careful in resting. Before God teaches me to rest with means I would not prefer.
Where is the line between working hard and trusting God drawn? A possible answer: When our walk with God starts to get affected. When we are less peaceful. When we realise that the desire to honour God in all we do by pursuing excellence has morphed into a desire for excellence alone. When our tasks are so important that people seem less important. When we start to become snappy and feel easily irritated.
Then we know we have crossed the line.
And we had better head back where we came from.
Fire movement to the rear. *Winks at Daniel Li.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Sunday, midnight

Midnight.

Need strength. (Self-censored load of sensitive issues).

Been studying as best as I can.

Need to trust God.

God works out all things for the good of those who love Him.

A minute past midnight.

Sleep.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Rest

Sometimes there is only so much I can do.

To rest and to trust.

It was not the great, strong, armoured champion who put a nation to flight. But it was the weak, little, despised shepherd boy. It was not a mighty weapon of war which crashed through the giant's temple. It was a pebble. It was not an Israelite sword that took off the giant's head. It was the giant's own sword.

Perhaps the balance lies in this: To glorify God with our talents and yet not depend on the talents, but God. To do our best for God, yet not rely on our best, but God's best. To be concerned about all under our charge as a steward should well be, but not to be anxious.

To be the exalted sherpherd boy. And yet not fall to sin.

To labour for His glory and yet not place any hope in the labour, but all hope in the Glory.

There is only so much I can do.

A public blog means I can speak to more people... but that I can say less.

As a pleasant footnote. I had a most excellent lunch at Joshua Ho's birthday party. I had a wonderful time talking with Caleb. I had a most enjoyable dinner with dad. I am full and happy.

But not quite contented with the state of things.

Would that qualify as a hunger? A yearning for more?

Friday, September 04, 2009

3rd week of school's almost over

I sit down and reflect on this past week. I conclude that the most urgent task at hand would be to go to bed before 11p.m. tonight, sleep till 6 plus a.m., and spend some time with God tomorrow morning. Adjusting to school life. I need to remember my purpose is to honour God in all I do. And that rightly entails adequate rest.

I had a good week. Tuesday night I stayed up till 0250 HRS. Thursday night till 0130 HRS. Was doing some presentation slides and on Tues and Thurs was to catch up on newspapers I've been missing. I wonder if I push myself too hard in this. Perhaps, perhaps...

In our drive to honour the Lord, do we depend to much upon our own strength? The risk is there. I suppose that could be the challenge for me in this season. It is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves (1 Samuel 16:47-I think), but the battle belongs to the Lord.

That was a thought that ran through my mind today as we were playing soccer for Sports Fiesta. My team got 2nd. Rather noteworthy, considering that we never had the time to come together for practice. So our first match simply fell a part. I thank God that we started to learn our team dynamics by the 2nd match. I enjoyed the fellowship of Mervyn, Daniel, Talia, William and Ray immensely.

How does the Lord save? Not by our strength. King David, besides being a Psalmist, musician and a king with one major stain on his career. I was pondering the warrior king part of the equation. King David. A mighty warrior. But his victories all came from God.

Had fun today with Crusade people. Had dinner with them too.

I could keep on writing. But I am aware that a tired state of mind is never the best state of mind for a post. Too much emotion. Too much expression of ideas best kept to myself and myself alone. It is of particular concern to me that more and more people are visiting this blog. Luke 18 (I think) says that of him who has been given much, much will be demanded. To him who has been entrusted much,of him men will ask the more.


And so I have to take care of my body and zzzz. Sometimes it is not so much us asking God for strength, the way I see it. We have been given an equal number of hours and are endowed with (more-often-than-not) sufficient wisdom and discretion. To cut out the less important matters, focus on what God truly wants of us. All I am I hold in stewardship to the Almighty. I would do well to remember to lead a focused life and rest whenever I should rest.