Alright, Andrea just corrected me on the spelling of the word sovereignty. Thanks!
Right, I was at my place earlier this morning in school and Mr Edmund James was commenting that I looked lost- didn't know where to begin.
I know where to begin right now, but I don't quite know how to continue. Yet do I have to know?
I was having some time with God about 2 hours ago.
It was something like this. I knew that I could physically start preparing for school. Could start trying to get textbooks from seniors and all (somehow, I'm not too hurried... need to check course outlines and OASIS- my school's intranet, is down). And truth be told, there was something in me that couldn't quite be bothered about spending extra time with God.
But anyway, somehow, I managed to get myself seated down on the floor to pray.
And as I prayed I recalled all that the Lord has brought me through. As I sat down on the nice tiled floor in my house, I remembered other quiet times on other types of ground, in other places.
I remembered shivering mornings in the Australian forest. Of sitting atop an armoured vehicle and reading my little blue Gideon's bible (my outfield bible, as I affectionately call it).
I remembered how God brought me out of that one, of how a few weeks later I was in a nice motel in Rockhampton, reading a bible in the ambience of a cosy room.
I remembered many other things, a whole litany of what were apparently banes, which the Lord brought me through.
And then I thought about the uncertainty of university life, of GPAs and project work and of friendships.
And I could not for the life of me see how the same God who brought me through everything would fail to bring me through this time.
The truth of the matter is that all that should concern me is the fear of the Lord. That I fear Him and in so doing, fear nothing else. That I honour Him and spend time waiting upon Him. Look, if God really is in charge, then it follows that in putting Him first, He will bring His plans for me into fruition.
Jeremiah 29:11 says that He has thoughts and plans (depending which version) for me. This verse has a nice, warm, Christian-like feeling to it.
But let us observe its practicality. God has thoughts and plans for me. He has thoughts and plans regarding my education. He has thoughts and plans regarding how my life in SMU will turn out, how I'll score. As the Psalmist put it in the 139th Psalm- all the days ordained for me were written in His book before one of them came to be.
God surely knows where He wants me to be. He surely knows and knows surely which job He wants me to be in. Which industry for which time period for what purpose. Look, Jeremiah 29:11 says it, doesn't it? "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".
He knows His plans for me. Now that is something innit? He knows His plans for me, His plans for you.
And so as I enter into university, whatever happens, when things seem like they are going wrong. I need to remember, God is in total control, He knows His plans for me. As far as I am willing to honour Him (that is the only variable that is under my control-that God has placed under my charge), His plans are being worked out by Him, for my good.
That being said there are the human tendencies and attacks of the enemy that sometimes chip away at us. The "sinful desires, which war against (our) soul(s)" (1 Peter 2:11). I might stumble along the way. You might stumble along the way. And sometimes it will be our lack of trust and lack of waiting upon God- indeed, our impatience, that cause things to turn bad. But God is still in control.
A song by Don Moen really ministered to me at one time in NS. Goes "Do you feel that your God has forgotten your needs? Just remember that God hears our prayers and an answer is on its way.... He never sleeps He never slumbers, He never tires of hearing our prayers, when we are weak He becomes stronger, so rest in His love and cast all of your cares on Him"
He will not let your foot slip- He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. - Psalm 121:3-4
...My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. - 2 Corinthians 12:9
And so as I enter into university, I understand that the possibility of stumbling a bit will be there. I understand that even though I recognise the truth that I need not fear, fear will still sometimes be knocking at the door.
Above all I am most glad to understand that God is in total control. May all of us understand this, and live upon the peace that this truth affords.
And may I end this with a childrens' song that spoke so strongly to me in my NS days?
He's the Lord of the sunshine
The Lord of the rain
He's the Lord of the good times
The Lord of the pain
He's the Lord of the mountains
The Lord of the seas
He's the Lord of the music
The Lord of the children
The Lord of you and me
I know where to begin right now- to wait upon the Lord
I don't quite know how to continue, for I cannot and have never quite been able to see where exactly the future leads.
Yet do I have to know? "No eye has seen, no ear has heard; no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him"- 1 Corinthians 2:9.