Right now I'm just kinda discontented with the state of my walk with God. Which is in actual fact to say that I am discontented with my entire life. I think that when something is wrong in a person's walk with God, nothing else is truly in place. It might appear so on the outside, but nothing truly is.
I've been trying to read and pray more. And I'm seriously struggling through it. Somedays I grow so bored with all that. This really shouldn't be the way things are man. I need more hunger and thirst for the Spirit and His word.
I would really like a fresh annointing. Then again, is that really what I need? Perhaps I just need to come humbly and wait patiently.
Yet another thing I learnt from BSF is that God is like fire in this: We cannot approach fire on our own terms. We approach fire on its terms. I cannot put my hand to the flame and say, "fire, you will not burn me". (Well, besides the case of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego). The fire will burn me even if I try to approach it on my terms.
I can approach the fire from a distance. I can feel and enjoy its warmth. I can go to the fire on its terms.
Am I approaching God on my own terms?
Haha. There something like a quarter life crisis? Nah. Things will get better lah.
Michael Jackson passed away. It is interesting that his death raised his popularity instantaenously, or at least so it seems. Now everyone is saying nice things about him. Juxtapose that with all the bad press he was receiving in the years prior to his death.
I wonder. Some people have exalted, respected positions in society and are villified in death. Others have it the other way round. Villified in life, exalted in death.
And yet ultimately the word says that God will have the final say on judgement day. Am I living right now in such a way that God may say to me, "well done, good and faithful servant" on that day.
Okay, alright. Answer is no.