Friday, January 30, 2009

Red sea

I feel that I have crossed my Red Sea.

And my challenge now, like the Israelites, is not to forget God. Not to forget what God has brought me out of. Not to forget the days I cried out to Him and He answered me. Not to forget those days where I looked forward to these days.

Feeling a lil lost now.

In the past I'd be in army the whole week. Then when I came out, it'd be a mad rush to run a few errands and then I'd book in. Now sometimes I'm just wondering what to do with my time. Can't really sit still without working. But yeah, have a job teaching History March to August, and will be learning driving etc etc.

Still feel lost in a way.


Sunday, January 25, 2009

To all my Oligopistos kids...

Hey all of you.

Just would like to say I appreciate you ladies- Jerusha, Jamie, Natalie, Fang Qi still keeping in touch with me somehow or other.

Boys as usual, shall be boys. I understand. It's perfectly normal.

I once learned this: "Do the thing you said you would well after the mood you have said it in is long gone."

Just something I was chewing on. The object of my faith is Christ. Yet somedays now I no longer feel that easily motivated to seek Him. Why? Camp's over, so many many things to do in life. Prep for university, learn driving, pack my stuff, get a job (got one already, yeah! Thank God). But I should really let the truth determine my determination to do QT... bible study... etc, not my feelings.

Now that that December camp feeling is gone and I'm probably settling back into some sort of routine, what I do now will speak volumes of my faithfulness to God.

Same for you all. Now that you're back to school. School really gets to us. PSLE stress, other activities... etc. Worries bout where we're going. My encouragement: keep seeking God no matter what. Trust in Him to provide. Worry not. Ref: Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Peter 5:7.

The God of the camp is the same God in your life right now. As you board the bus to school (assuming you d0), as you attend boring lessons, struggle with frustrating math questions, get scolded by teachers maybe, as you score good or bad grades. The same God you felt so strongly, who touched you to tears in camp, for some, He is with you.

He will never leave you nor forsake you, as Hebrews 13:5 says.

Keep in touch. Love y'all in Christ.

P.S. To Jamie, I have yet to receive your lawyer's letter. Hee.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

In such times

It's 12 midnight.
And in the ironic wakefulness that gets to me at such hours.
I in my unsleepful state shall attempt to appreciate the splendor of the moment.
I am 20, it's a new year.
I shall be 21 this year.
I thought that NS would turn me from a boy into a man.
And I believe it has.
But not the man I'd expected I'd be.
Nevertheless I have been schooled in life by God.
I have not enjoyed myself terrifically.
I have not as many friends as I'd have liked.
But I enjoy the harvest of righteousness resulting from discipline.
And I enjoy the sweet closeness of a few good friends.
In church and in camp.
My Lord did not speak to me much for the time I was inside.
Though sometimes I did feel it was all I needed- a word from God.
But God did speak now and then.
He didn't speak clearly as I was at one time used to.
But He spoke through circumstances and situations and taught me much.
I recall He last spoke to me clearly in perhaps the January of 2007.
And the next time He spoke was 30 November 2008, on the first evening of the Childrens' Camp.
I cannot describe the awe I felt.
I cannot explain how painful and yet valuably powerful this training in silence was for me.
I never thought I'd be where I am, doing what I do.
It isn't highly recognized.
It isn't appreciated much.
I may not be popular at my workplace.
I may not have many friends in my workplace.
But through all this I have experienced the loving-kindness of a Heavenly Father who never once abandoned me.
I have experienced the provision of a Saviour.
Who patiently moulded, chiselled away
At a piece of workmanship that was not always that joyful
Even though joyfulness always in His word was a command.
I became less vocal.
Temporal or perennial I know not.
More silent.
Some people at church observed that.
But I grew more sensitive to the Holy Spirit.
As Lamentations 3 says
It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord
It is good for a man to bear the yoke while He is young.
And I learned wisdom in silence
Just as Proverbs says that a fool talks much but even a fool who keeps quiet can look prudent.
I venture to say that as I wait upon Him
As the KJV says in Isaiah 40:31
I shall mount up on wings like eagles
Run and not weary
Walk and not faint.
But may I repeat that the promise is conditional
That first, I wait.
I venture further to say that do not fix your eyes on me.
Fix the eyes on He to whom the hands that mould me belong to.
If I have offended, I tarry not in apologizing.
If I have blessed I must hurry to say "praise God".
For I have must have initially been blessed much, to bless much.
I must loudly utter this
Expect not much of me
Expect much of my God.
(And even then, expect what is word-based and right to expect.
Then you shall not be disappointed in God due to faulty understanding.)
For 1 Corinthians 3:7-8 says that neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything
Only God, for He makes the plant grow.
I stop here, for I have only a faint glimmer of a hope that this piece shall be coherent and make sense tomorrow morning. I can only hope that if I should read this after I wake up, it shall be a sufficiently acceptable piece, not a literary abomination.
Psalm 127:2- The Lord gives sleep to those He loves.
Good night all.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

My last few days

Monday night was a little sick. Tuesday morn woke up at 0330 HRS to pray, cuz was feeling a little troubled and anxious about the rest of that day. Somebody brought a certain new perspective to me when he highlighted that Christ prayed the night before He was crucified. Indeed, prayer is even more important than physical rest.

Well, I began my armskote duties at 0430 HRS. Did lots of stuff. Range, route march, etc. Wrapped up at 0230 HRS on Wed morning and slept at 0300 HRS. Woke up at 0530 HRS for QT again and COS duties.

And so I spent my New Year's Eve in camp like that. Well, at least I had many hours to myself to read my books. And been learning and revising many imporant things.

This morning I went to the Childrens' Camp reunion. Not too shabby. But a little disappointed that I didn't get much time to spend with my kids. And I noticed that the guys, and also Adele, Jerutha and Mathu did not come. Oh well. But at least got to talk a bit with Natalie.

Tired too, so wasn't able to say too much.

Wanted to go home, but dragged myself to watch Bedtime Stories with the rest cuz I wanted to spend more time with them. Turned out alright.

Well, I do thank God for what I deem to be productive time. That at least I'm utilizing it to talk to people.

Verse of this week, what with all the physical tiredness, and issues at work. With unhappy people, tired people, unreasonable people surrounding me. With little rest and little appreciation and much hard work. Some people have told me that I'm sometimes negative with my perception of work where I am. But then again, I beg to ask if they truly understand what I go through. It may not be the toughest job around, but it pushes me quite a bit.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18- Therefore we do not lose heart, for though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far exceeds them all. So we do not fix our eyes on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For that which is seen is temporary, but that which is unseen is eternal.

Gonna take Pri 6 2nd service next year. I do pray that it'll be a fruitful year ahead.

Tomorrow I shall rest, and perhaps work out a bit. And also start making enquiries for a job. Yawn. Sleeping... about... now...