Sunday, May 25, 2008

Discipleship Training School (DTS)

DTS. It's a YWAM programme that I just might be interested in. Anybody got any contacts or people who went through it before?

It's kinda expensive though. Would take all my NSF allowance from now till ORD. And it's a stay-in programme, macham SAF course. 12 week stay-in lectures, 8 week overseas missions. Kinda excites me.

This morn went for a 15klick cycling event. Was kinda easy. Could finish in like 40 minutes or so.

Monday, May 19, 2008

A long weekend

Thought that this weekend was rather good.

Spent most of it resting at home though.

Wondering what to do after ORD... though it's still rather early. These few days at home kinda seemed to throw me back in time, when I hadn't enlisted. I didn't rush around meeting people this weekend. Just lazed around, doing a few homely things I liked. Read a bit of my ol year book. Did some reading here and there.

JC life seems so far back now.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Looking forward to next week

Next week there'll be Vesak day!

So happily waiting for a long weekend.

Was just wondering... should I even try to ask for leave for the Creative Arts Camp? Praying bout it.

But where I work taking leave is kinda taboo. Pretty much the whole world turns against you. So much for strong work cultures.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

The future.

I do wonder what the future holds for me. What is God's plan... etc.

I figure that the past year or so in army have kinda made my life into a blank slate. For God to write on. For as I read my journals and personal records of my thoughts and feelings, I realise that my mind is now occupied by well, different things. Mostly mundane, day-to-day army stuff. My priorities have shifted too. Right now I have, well, about no priorities in life, so to speak. Not many goals, just living each day as it is. Enjoying some, sucking thumb for some.

My in-camp life is bigger than my out-of-camp life. (Man, that's all this Tai Yong blogs about these days innit, army life, army life, army life, how he's so not a civilian... bleagh).

I seek a closer walk with God once again. I used to walk closely. I look back and I see milestones and hallmarks. But I don't intend to go back there. I look forward and I want so much more of God.

One thing that saddens me is the number of people I have stopped talking to heart-to-heart since I began to grow busier and busier in the battalion. Some of these people I really miss. Miss the friendships that is. I still see them around, but hard to really talk much. Just a hi... and then what-else-can-I-say kind of feeling comes round and I'm stuck there.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Back again

The past 2 weeks have been going at a crazy, tiring pace. Late nights- 0030. Early mornings, like 0415 hours waking up. Going outfield for navex, missions etc.

It kinda strikes me as weird how school-going people can comment on academic life, saying it's crazy and exhausting... etc. Mentally, yes, agreed. But it's really strange how the same few words can mean entirely different things.

Tiring, yet fulfilling somehow.

For me it means doing preparation for outfield training, conducting numerous inspections for my men.

It means donning my green long 4, putting on green camo cream and the 3 black stripes across my face. Putting on my load bearing vests, boots, helmet, field pack. Drawing my SAR 21, loading ammo into my magazine. Moving out for one of those long, tiring infantry marches.

Walking in the hot sun, finding out that my men didn't obey my instructions to bring enough water, regretting the fact that perhaps I could have checked. Seeing my section almost break down during the section proficiency test as the stress level goes up. Doing my best to pull my team together, while becoming increasingly irritated and angry at some of their attitudes.

Shouting and screaming at them to keep the friggin battle formations, attack properly, get proper cover. Seeing them becoming totally exhausted, sweating, muddy, come close to giving up.

Having to manage 6 different, unique persons, with different mindsets and personalities. Each a soldier- my soldier, each a man, each somebody's son. Look after their physical and mental well being, their soldierly bearing, their training in every aspect. Also their growth as people. Have to do what I can for their personal problems, their attitude problems.


And yes, I know God helped me a lot in the test. None of us in my section fell out. Came close, yes, but no it did not happen. That's an immense achievement. Most sections I know of had people who fell out.

Thought I was in one place but was in an entirely different place (300-400 metres away) during navex. Knew that I was getting more and more lost but somehow didn't want to turn back. The logical mind in me kept telling me to back track to a confirmed location. Kept walking and scolding myself for being stupid. And somehow I walked up the correct knoll, saw a station master and by God's divine providence, reached the correct checkpoint. Not by my navigation skills, but by sheer clumsiness, navigational stupidity and stubborness added up, manipulated and changed by God into a correct move.

On another note, saw Iron Man at 1 a.m. this morning. Thought it most excellent.