Want to thank Caleb Lim for getting the MP3 player. Rather touched bro. This bro of mine knew that I was not going too well in my walk. So he got me a MP3 player (probably knows that I'd never splurge the money on one myself), loaded in some Christian songs, sermons and some pictures from the 2006 Childrens' camp in. Kinda like to ground me to my life in God.
That's one of the pictures. I am praying, it seems with Luke Tang and some of the children. And that brings back pretty vivid memories from that camp. It was a major landmark in my walk with God. It was a wonderful mountaintop. And from that mountaintop I journeyed to my current valley. It's true... I talked with God then. God replied me. I could hear His voice clearly and regularly. I had numerous wonderful chances to tell people about Him. And I had the chance to witness about 3 people being brought to the Lord in those years. And He showed me a few things. Gave me some rather clear revelations. That I would be going into a time of challenges and battles. He told me that in 2006.
Also want to thank God for my family who was praying for me when I went for my field camp last week. Came back with blisters, heat rash, foot rot (the normal infantry outfield stuff, y'know), but I do believe the field camp went along pretty well.
Right now my walk... well I'm walking again. I went to church yesterday. Wanted to bring one of my men but he couldn't make it cuz he went lock-up due to screening. But I had a really good time with God. The sermon was applicable.
I think the key word for me in this season is Matthew 6:33. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. I need to find my identity and security in my God, and not the things of this world. Lately I've been questioning God as to why He has not really given me outstanding achievements in my army life. Y'know, I'm a small fry infantry sergeant. What I say and do makes differences in the lives of my men, officers, colleagues, yes. But some days I'd like to be someone bigger.
I see friends having gone through OCS, friends getting many badges and commendations and awards. The epitomies of strong garang soldiers in their physical prime. And here I am. Lost the chance to clear my last marksmanship, probably because of not tightening my LAD... can't even get an IPPT gold (it's eluded me one way or another).
But then again, if my identity and security is really in God, these things shouldn't really matter to me that much.
I need to start seeking God again, as I did when I was about 18 years old. That was 2 years back, when I spent much time with God, praying, kneeling with much sincerity and effort. These days I still do spend time before God... somedays early in the morning, say 1 a.m. or so, after I've settled my work for the day. But not as much time spent as I'd like. And when I do get home, I go surf the net, play flash games... etc. Things which I'd have considered a total waste of my time back then. I used to limit my usage of the internet to 3 hours a week when I was in JC, to study, honour God and make space for prayer time.
And so you have it. I'm still me... but I need to remember my roots and return to the river of my life.