Saturday, August 25, 2007

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Wah. They scold me a lot here. Looking back, the volume of curses, insults and vulgarities flung at me as an individual was quite unprecedented. But managed to remain calm and professional through all the verbal slamming.

Psalm 118:6. The Lord is with me. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

Tired and discouraged. But then again, physical muscles grow from over exertion and subsequent growth as a bodily response. How much more spiritual muscle... at least I hope.

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Oh well. Things ain't turning out the way I wanted them to. By the day more things are being flung in my direction. It's a struggle to find God each day. It's a constant battle to seek godliness. Sometimes I don't know who I'm becoming. I simply seem to think differently these days.

My last 10 weeks have changed my perceptions regarding my current life here. Hard work does not always get rewarded. What incentive is there? Things are not as efficient as they are made to seem. People do not care half as much as you'd think they would. Not everyone is treated equally. I feel like a simple statistic performing a function for someone else. Much of what is said is untruth.

So am I getting wiser or pessimistic? Am I growing stronger or simply becoming jaded? I have no idea. I'm evolving though, to put it that way. At the rate I'm going I shall have mutant powers soon.

One thing that still continues to bring me joy is my kids in CM.

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