Saturday, July 28, 2007

This week ff

A rather good week. Physically tired. But spiritually up. After I got a lot of people to pray for me, that I'd trust God again and all. This prayer artillery really works. Thanks to my dad, mom, kor, Caleb, Joseph, Jesh, Kwan Chin, Mei Yan, Jia En, Jing Jie, Jie Hau, Aaron Oh, Jeremy Leong, Jon Lim, CM kids, Gabriel in camp... so many. Am blessed. Truly.

More trusting in God now. Less on my own strength. Think that was the reason of the sore eyes, that as Caleb said, I might still be seeking OCS and not God if He hadn't slowed me down. So thanks Lord.

Anybody at home shaking leg, nothing to do? Pray for my buddies and instructors, that they'll come to know my God.

And that I'll put God first in everything...

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Getting the attitude right

Had a few good talks with Jesh, Caleb and Daniel Yim. Some of my best buddies. Was good to see Daniel Li after about a month too. Was a great lesson with the kids today about sin.

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A prayer

Thank you Lord for exactly where I am and exactly who is with me in this place. Thank you Lord for everything. Be with us all as we train to be good sergeants. Give me the right attitude of trust in you Lord, not fear. Give me the spirit of the fear of the Lord, nothing else. Create chances for others to hear of you. Here I am Lord. Your servant in this place.

And you know of my desire to cross over. That too Lord, may you bless. But first let your will be done.

In Jesus' name

Amen

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

grr

They sent me back home.

Spent last night in an isolation ward at medical centre. First time in Army that I've had air-con and breakfast in bed. Night snack and cup noodles brought to me too. All because I'm not allowed to step out of the room.

Heck. I want to go out and fight.

Gladly trade my position Lord? Many want to be where I am, but I don't exactly. I have no idea what your plans are. How to perform in IPPT and SOC? How to chiong swa? Feeling so nuah already.

Doesn't feel right to be resting when the rest are braving the rain outfield. Doesn't feel right especially when they're doing what I like. When you've been sick, (if you were me), you'd rather be smack in the field.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Sore Eyes IV

Okay. The eyes are getting better now. Fever seems to have gone. Thank you all who have prayed for me.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Sore Eyes III

Right, now I have a fever as well.

And my kor also has sore eyes. Heh. Sorry hor. What to do?

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Sore eyes II

Oh well, since I have a long Attn C (MC in Army terms), I thought I'd post a more complete entry.

Have never ever taken a single medical status in my entire army life. Have been sick with cough, headaches etc, but have never reported sick. And the first one is a Attn C. Ironic that many fellow trainees would gladly be in my position. But I'd rather be training and outfield. I take my job as a soldier seriously. And I do enjoy being a soldier. Sometimes things are hard and it's all I can do to refrain from swearing or allowing anger and stress to take control. But then I really grow as a person, in skills, confidence and in my walk with God.

Was reading Experiencing God, the youth edition workbook that we did in YPM many many years back, when I was a puny Sec 1 or 2. Back in YPMS days. And was reminded that I should trust God step by step, not to ask so much for the bigger picture, but be concerned only with each day. Matthew 6:33- Seek ye first the kingdom of God.

That's my position right now. Wanted to go OCS but am now in SISPEC. Thought I'd be able to cheong swa for this field camp but now have sore eyes- and apparently it's getting worse. This morning was the right. Now it's both.

Mind you, anybody who thinks SISPEC is a second rate school is dead wrong. And I'm not trying to be politically correct. SISPEC is more hands on. Anybody who knows enough will agree that the army cannot survive without its specialist corps.

So right now that's where I am, having my ambitions, but having surrendered them to God. Knowing that His will will be done ultimately. Learning to trust in Him each step of the way. It's not easy for me. I am a strong-willed person. I am opinionated. I can be dead stubborn. Then again I've also prayed that God do His will, that He bend and break and twist and mould me anyway that He wants, but if possible, that it not be too painful. And now that I'm going through such things, I should not complain.

Sore eye

^I got that right now.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Pensive

Hmmm.