Sunday, April 29, 2007

Confinement

First 2 weeks was harder than I thought. I'm not too sure about other coys but I feel quite physically exerted here. Quite a few times in which I felt like giving up and keng*. But thank God that I have yet to. If I can't finish the exercise, it's because I cannot, not because I slack.

Lots of vulgarities here. People seem to relish being able to speak them. And it's kinda encouraged by the culture.

Seems like quite a few things have happened since I entered NS. Am concerned about my cell. But one thing is certain. I see God's hand in this. His sovereignity and His final say.

Next week is field camp, so won't be home again. But having a long weekend now. Due to labour day and off in lieu for field camp.

Thank God for all the peace He's given me in this place. For all those I know are praying.

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Booking out. You come to appreciate Singapore a lot more. On sunny days, you realize that mainland sun is quite nothing compared to Tekong.

Childrens' Ministry was kind of like the exact opposite of NS life. I was really glad to be there today. A fantastic, pleasant interlude. Good to see all my fellow bros and sis in Christ out of NS too.

Please keep me in prayer everyone. It's very very easy to fall away from God where I am. And yet because of that, I 'm getting stronger. Because I have no choice but to rely on God. Please, if you can spare a minute or two, also pray that I might be a humble servant before God and men. That I may do things out of a holy, sanctified desire, not for my own glory. There is nothing to glory in myself.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

NS

Dear Lord

It's been some time since I last heard your still, strong voice speak to me. I feel real weak now. I pray that that's the weakness of Paul, in which your strength is made perfect. For your grace is sufficient.

I know not how NS will be like. But I do know you will never leave me nor forsake. And that is enough to know.

I pray that you give me the passion and teach me how to pray in NS. That you give me the heart of a servant. Give me your vision Lord. For in John 10:16 it says that you have other sheep who are not of this sheep pen, and them also you must bring. And John 12:26. Whoever comes after you must follow you. And where you are there your servant also will be.

Lord I need you. So many people inside will need you. Open up opportunities for them to hear of you O Lord. Here I stand. Send me O Lord, if it so be your will.

Other things weigh heavily upon my heart. You know O Lord. You know.

In the name of Jesus I pray.

Amen.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Today

Today I went to see James off. And James forgot to bring his IC. Haha. Classic lor. Will be joining this brother on Tekong in a few.

Went fishing with Caleb. Daniel Li and Caleb's friend Chao Yuan were also there. Caught 3. First one was two fishes at once. Wah. Really thanked God. Think God was trying to cheer me up.

Haven't been training in the past few days. But BMT shouldn't be that hard I hope.

I pray that NS will be easier than my JC days. Sure, being lonely and not that able to mix with new people in AJ (been in a guys school for 10 years) drew me closer to God. And no leadership in ODAC was beneficial. But it was quite painful. I sure pray NS won't be like this. I really would like to mix with people and make close friends. Something which I didn't really get to do much in my tough JC years.

I have a history of having extremely good or extremely bad relations with my superiors. Has to do with me being outspoken. Sometimes outspoken with a lack of discernment and good measure. I really need God to watch over me in this.

Also need to keep a close walk with God throughout.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

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NS. It approaches. And I don't really know what to expect. I'm kinda happy to go in. I think I would probably like that kind of life. At least I pray.

It's another phase of my life... one that I pray God really works in.

I've been through another humbling process by God. Cutting down to size, till I realise how inadequate and how small and unrighteous I am. How little I really know. Really needed that before NS. Thank you Lord. These are my weak points- pride, lust, overwhelming skepticism, the inability to separate steadfastness and inflexibility. I am also not-too-wise. Often thinking myself wiser than I should.

To those who know me better. I'm not that close to God as before. And I am really quite broken now. But godly sorrow, as Paul says, is good. For it will lead to godly joy. I thank God for a hunger for more.

Really want to encourage those of you who have not tried to read the entire bible chronologically to do so. I never wanted to, cuz I knew that if I did back then, it'd just be for the sake of doing so. But last week, after going through something with God, I did it just cuz I loved God, His word, and wanted to know more bout Him.

And when you do that you begin to see so many more wonderful things in God's word. You become so humble as a Gentile, cuz it's only somewhere in Acts that they really talk about Gentile salvation. God has done so much all through the years with Israel. If we'd lived then, probably no salvation. It's a blessing to live in these times. When the law is removed and we move by grace and the sheer accessibility and power of the Holy Spirit.

And the Epistles actually, roughly make up10% of the bible. That's very little. Means that 23 books, including Acts, make up about 10% of the bible.

Seriously, I'm a bit too tired right now to tell all, but you get to see things so much better in context if you read the word one time through.

E.g. You realise how much change Jesus brought. So many things He did were in stark contrast to Mosaic law. You realise how much He speaks with authority, not so much as OT prophets, but with great fire. Yeah, we always knew that. But you'll only get the full impact if you read it one time through. From let's say Malachi to Matthew. The utter change. And the teachings of Christ sounded very un-mosaic and infidel. You'll understand that if you read say Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy and then got to the gospel times.

You realize the power of God moving in these times. You understand how we even got to these post resurrection, pre-tribulation times. We are living in the last block of time before a few events occur and heaven is literally ushered in.

And you see in Acts and the Epistles the new body of God. The church. The urgency of the times. You wonder when Christ returns to fulfil the prophecies of Revelations. And I continue to ask and pray and wonder.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Boyhood is leaving, Manhood approaches

Asunder by TY

O the island asunder
Quarter an hour
O'er the waters green
Hey the heads shaved clean
Boyhood's over
Manhood's sudden glower

And here are my prayer requests:

>God's will be done in everything.

>That the Spirit of God shall move and He that has the power to harden hearts shall soften hearts. For "Other sheep I have who are not of this sheep pen. Them also I must call, and they will listen to my voice and there will be one shepherd and one flock."-John 10:16