Sunday, October 30, 2005

Down with a cough/ fever/ sore throat

It's only when you're sick that you appreciate how good it is to be healthy.

I thank God for my family. My mom, my dad, my grandma during this period of time. (bro's at camp)

Fell sick on Wednesday. Got a fever that night. Struck so quickly that I didn't even recognize it at first. I'm not often sick, you see.

Thursday, Friday, today. Still struggling with this sickness thing.

I know I ain't really sick. Just a bit. Yet it feels bad. Wish I was up and about and running again.

Taking part in the Standard Chartered Marathon. 10km run. Know it's nothing much for many people, but 10km would be a little milestone for me.

Prayer-fully I recover by then.

Was running 4 klick 3 times a week just before I got this. Not a lot too, I know, but quite an achievement for me.

Now I'm sick.

Must discipline myself to rest and recover.

CLAO exam on Monday.

God help me.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Still hungry for more of God.

Was reminded of His power today as I did my QT.


My Father flung the starry host into their place

My Father made the sky

and the earth

and the trees

My Father made the clouds

and the sun that peeks through it

My Father created the birds

and the ants

And if my Father can do things so mighty as this, and with such caring detail create even each ant with 6 legs, no more, no less, then He must be powerful.

And if my Father sent His Son to die on the cross for me, then He must care for a wretched soul like me.

And if He cares for me, and He is infinitely powerful, then I figure that I have nothing to fear.

My God will provide.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Received my promo results.

Econs History C maths O E O (hey, it looks like 2 eyes and a nose.), clao B4, GP C5.

And btw, the History's E is 46%, which means 2% less and I'd have had to fight for conditional promotion.

I'm not too sure bout why I got such results. I studied... perhaps I didn't study consistently enough? Perhaps I didn't study smart enough this time round?

Whatever the case, I am not defeated. As far as I can see, I will not be defeated as long as my God is not defeated, and my God will never be defeated.

And that being said, I still am seeking God desperately.

Right now in ODAC, real busy. Got certain issues and all. Everyone's tired.

In school on Monday , as far as my class was concerned, it was like a battlefield, where more than half the soldiers were bleeding... wounded. Some were walking wounded. Some were still talking, crapping around with each other... usual stuff... as if nothing ever happened. Some were still bleeding... I have no idea whether they'll live.

And there I stand too. Carnage all around me. I'll live. Live to see another day, fight another fight.

I, a mere man am in no position to challenge my God.

Isaiah 40:13- Who has understood the mind of God? And who has instructed Him as His counsellor?

Not me.

But I have no idea what is going on around here.

Very meekly. Very tiredly. With nothing more to lose than a life... for I know that life is but a mist here today and gone tomorrow, I come to God.

Perhaps one of my favourite one-liners.

"God, so how huh?"

Monday, October 17, 2005


Thought after promos, things would get easier.

They didn't

ODAC stuff, PW stuff all comes crashing in.

Worse than I thought.

Did PW from 8:30 this morn.

I took a 3 hr break at like 7

Now is 11:54 p.m.

Doing some ODAC proposal

How much longer can this go on, O Lord? Sooner or later I'm gonna become a person walking around half-dead.

And, for the record, I'm not satisfied with my relationship with you too Lord

Tomorrow night got discipleship some more.

Receiving most of my promo results too

Eh Lord, I'm damn shag liao*


Saturday, October 08, 2005


The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
He rescues those who are crushed in Spirit
The righteous man may have many troubles
But the Lord rescues him from them all
He protects his bones
not even one of them will be broken
Evil will slay the wicked and the foes of the righteous will perish
But for those who seek refuge in the Lord, there is no condemnation

Psalms 34:18-21

As a deer longs for a stream of cool water,
so I long for you, O God.
I thirst for you, the living God.
When can I go and worship in your presence?
Day and night I cry, and tears are my only food;
all the time my enemies ask me,
"Where is your God?"
My heart breaks when I remember the past,
when I went with the crowds to the house of God and led them as they walked along,
a happy crowd,
singing and shouting praise to God.
Why am I so sad?
Why am I so troubled?
I will put my hope in God,
and once again I will praise him, my savior and my God.
Psalms 42:1-5

Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened,
that it cannot save,
neither his ear heavy,
that it cannot hear.
-Isaiah 59:1


Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I need more of you Lord.

More of you where it came from.

My soul cries out for fresh annointing. Fresh fire.

Hear me O God! Turn not your face away from me.

Mighty fulfil-er of promises. Deliverer. Saviour. That's what you are Lord.

If your word says that I can run nowhere from your Spirit, and that darkness is as light to you, that those who seek you will surely find you when they seek you with all your heart. If your word says that O God, why do I still feel so lacking-of-your-Spirit?

The world has many attractions and each one of them calls out to me.

But I yearn to return to your sanctuary to behold your beauty.

Surely you will grant me that request O Lord.

For your presence in my life is more precious than the life itself. Yes, take everything else away but pour out a double portion of your Spirit upon me and I will be content.

For my life is just a passing shadow, a breath of air. A mist that vanishes. And what am I before you O God? A mere maggot. For man is a maggot compared to his Creator.

Surely you, my God, who hast brought me thus far will not now withold your Spirit when I plead with thee for it?

Search me, O God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my thoughts
And see if there be any wicked way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

-Psalm 139: 23-24

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Lest I later boast

It's God who told me to study, sustained me through 4 weeks of study, gave me the knowledge and understanding I needed to study and gave me calm.

I know it's God because those are the things that I prayed for, and He provided.

Lest I later forget and boast.

On a lighter note. Haven't posted anything bout this week yet.

The funniest moment this week:

-Discipleship on Tuesday night. Caleb, Joseph, Lowell and I. We were reading Samson's ahem*'s blog on his laptop while he was out of the room getting something. Then we clicked on some Yahoo News bout "Hurricane Rita" just before Samson came back into the room.

Samson: What you're looking at?

Us: Hahahahaha.

Lowell: Hurricane Rita

Us: Heehee

Samson sits down at his laptop. Checks history. But I already deleted the blog page from history.

Samson: Aiyah, you all cannot find anything on my laptop lah!

Us: Hahahaha

Then Samson fiddles here and there. Found out what we'd been looking at. Cuz I overlooked the little toolbar at the top. Didn't delete the address from there.

Samson: Orh, so you all look at her blog right? Think you all can hide from me is it?

Lowell: Huh? Hurricane Rita got blog meh? - Today I saw a man in my path. I couldn't stop.

Laugh laugh laugh.

Then we admitted lah, cuz it was pretty obvious already.

Caleb: And the best part is that... <>

Laugh laugh laugh. Caleb laugh loudest. I cannot stop. Laugh non-stop for 5 minutes. Laugh until cannot breathe. Laugh until I can feel my 6-pack coming up again. (So hor, thanks Caleb.)

Then we all laughed again.

Effectively using up most of the discipleship time crapping.

Did a spiritual gifts test. Thought it might not be accurate, in that such things cannot be tested using a limited human questionnaire, pretty interesting.

-My exorcism 0, as expected.

-Tongues (11) actually higher than interpretation of tongues (9)! Guess I should use the gift of interpretation more for God.

-Celibacy 7. Jiak lat. Bit too high. Wanna get married and have kids one leh. Heh heh. Somebody celibacy very low... wonder who hor? Actually 2 people, I think.

That's bout all the interesting stuff.

Continuing to study for promos!!