3rd day of the term

Cooking last month.

Alright. Have had a rather enjoyable first 2 days at school. Seems like I know so many more people in my various classes. Enjoyed all my lessons so far. Managed to do some studying today. A good warm-up to studying life once again.

Been trying out new ways to live. And so far, I think it's good. I'm talking bout living in a way that I put God first. Which Christian professes to put God first? We all pray that we might be able to. We all give verbal in-principle approval to the concept. But do we really live it out. Practically?

I'm rather serious in chasing after God this time round.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do. Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

-Philippians 3: 12-16

But need to rely on God's strength and wisdom and not my own.

Was talking to Jesh last night. And one thought I have: How do we not be of the world, live in such a way as aliens and strangers (ref. 1 Peter 2:11-12) in this world, as Paul says and yet have friends who are of the world? And yet love them, and yet make Christ known to them? It is definitely possible, according to the word. We are told to reach out. We are also told to be holy. The two are not separate, and neither is an excuse for not living up to the other.

I've got a new batch of Pri 6s. I hope my dear Sec 1s are happily settling in to school too. I miss them and yet I'm thrilled to be taking on a new bunch. So many things to share with them and teach them.

Heh, contemplating the fact that I'll be 22 this year. It seems quite fast man. Yet the only concern should be whether I am allowing God to have full control? That my life really counts for what He has designed it to?

Was reflecting at the start of this year, that God has brought me through so much. Since my army days till now. I have so, so much to be thankful for.

And yet, as Enos mentioned. I need to be careful not to be complacent.

Death

Death is a theme that has cropped up multiple times for me this week. First in the death of a fellow Crusader, Rajan, then in many other conversations and films I've watched.

I think it's cropped up a couple of times in my dreams this last month as well.

So far be it from me to circumvent the topic. I shall take it head on.

First, a passage of scripture:

"I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable... When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."

"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?"

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain."

First I establish that with the salvation of a Christian, death has lost its sting. We have a place prepared for us after we die. I'm not going to talk so much about the gospel message and evangelism, even though yes, that is once again becoming a matter of increasing importance upon my heart.

The thing I've been thinking about is my own life and death. Ephesians 5:15 says to be very careful how I live, not as unwise, but as wise. Verse 16 in KJV says to redeem the time.

A popular question goes, "if you had two weeks left to live, what would you do?" The very Christian answer of course would be something like. I would go out into the streets and evangelise... and so on. BSF asked me the same question. My response (okay, I clarify that intellectually I know, but practically, I have yet to live this statement out in its fullness) was this. Why do we need to wait until we have two weeks left to live to decide on doing great things? Every single moment of our lives must be lived in a way that is so valuable. That at any given time, we live it with impact, as if our lives were about to end.

(Anyway, if any of us REALLY had two weeks left to live. And that's the medical diagnosis, chances are, we'd be hooked up to all kinds of tubes and lie on a hospital bed, on medication and in discomfort. So much for the "what would you do?" question. As if we'd really have a choice most of the time)

And so one thing I desire this year. I desire to be found in God and His will. To go by His strength and wisdom. To, by the strength of God and not my own, make my life count.

Which in a more practical sense translates into: Spending time only on things that will count when I stand before God.

And given the distractions that modern life affords. The television, the internet, city life. Well, how do I go and spend time only on things that matter in the Kingdom of God? I would be considered crazy. I would be considered weird. (Come to think of it, I already am. So I have got nothing to lose. You can't lose something you don't have).

All that I need to know is whether God approves. Let me be willing to give all that I am for my Saviour. I often fail in this. But I must keep moving in this one direction.

Okay, last bloggable thought for the day:

Christianity means many things for many people. To the apostles it was a cause for which they would give their lives. It was a discomfort to their physical bodies, for they endured scorn, shame, persecution and death. Yet the joy it afforded them they considered great enough to endure all the hardship.

To people in persecuted nations, it must mean quite the same thing.

What does it mean to me? What am I willing to lay down? In a nation and place with so many believers, do we encourage each other to lay down much for His sake? What does the name of Jesus mean to us? The air-conditioned worship halls and great music, coupled with wonderful camps and fantastic "fellowship"? The children's, youth and tertiary camps and retreats?

If God requires it to be so, am I willing to be considered crazy even by fellow believers? And on the other hand, is it necessary? Would that really be Spirit-led?

Questions questions. I have many questions.

On a lighter note. A more buoyant note (cuz they will float in the baptism pool you see). Many of my Primary 6s will be baptised tomorrow. Yay! As they take this decision to follow our Lord, I pray for them so hard. That they will be blessed in all they do. That they will be given wisdom and shown grace as they enter into their teenage years. I am gonna miss my ten Sec 1s so so much. Benjamin, Nathaniel, Kosand, Gaius, Ting Wei, Si En, Carissa, Lydia, Cheryl, Jing En.

My mind seems to be thinking bout many other things. But I shall stop here for now.

To act justly.
And to love mercy.
And to walk humbly with my God.

Sleepover and Other Matters

Well, just ended the last sleepover of this holiday season at Jeshua's place. As usual, there's always especially good food at his place, since it's done by Aunty Janet personally, not us amateurs. There's also a big plasma tv, which is perpetually on. That is good at times and bad at others. Was just thinking that at the end of this whole sleepover last night, there was very little deep talk. Only towards the end. But oh well, at least we watched two rather good films. Remember the Titans (which I feel still pales in comparison to Facing the Giants) and End of the Spear (if I got that right), bout Jim Elliot and his wife, as narrated by his son.





Everyone gets involved in moving the TV!



Thoughts of the Day...



I think... I think...



Let me share some of the thoughts I had today.



The end of TV Mobile. I was pondering over the last line of words on the screen. "Thank you for your support through the years." My first thought was "Haha, are you sure anybody was ever supporting TV Mobile in the first place?". Of course that was quickly corrected when two Chinese youth got into the seat across the aisle from mine and started to moan the demise of TV Mobile. One said that he had hoped to watch the World Cup on TV Mobile. (Which come to think of it, is a very strange statement. It would only make sense if say, he didn't have a tv at home, so he pays the bus fare to watch an entire world cup match? Prob would have to take the longest loop service available. Haha.)




On a deeper level, I thought about leadership. How does one really know that people are truly supporting him? I mean, I've led a couple of things. There've been times in the armed forces that I knew quite acutely that my men obeyed me only because they had to.




My secondary school VP, Mr Kwok once said something that made so much sense to me. He said that the respect a leader commands is not seen in him, but in the eyes of his followers.




There's an even deeper aspect to this. I might gain great respect of people. But if I myself am not fully dependent on God, then I am in deep trouble. I will one day fall from grace and all my followers will leave me. Then I will have nothing. No, I must fully depend and rely on God. Even then, I might one day be left alone again. But then I will have God, and it will be grace sufficient.




One of the concerns of my life is that people seem to respect me so much and have such a wonderful view of me. My instinct is almost to want to dig a hole in the ground and hide. I want to run off to a mountain to pray. The reason being that I know how fallable I am. Leadership can seem like a glorious thing. But when I take a step back and look at the full picture. When I see the holiness of God... I understand that I am hanging on to my end of the rope that leads to God. And I feel the weight of people hanging on to me. If I let my end of the rope go. If I let go of God, I fall off the cliff with the many people hanging on to me.




The solution seems to me to be to simply do what God has entrusted into my hands. And yet at the same time, I must be so careful to direct others to their own rope. That their walks and their faith be dependent on the Lord, not on me. If anything, I am an encourager, I am a fellow traveller. That is all I am. A fellow servant. Nothing more, nothing less.




Nothing more, nothing less.

First Reflections

One of the thoughts I had during Meta camp was this. People make commitments for God during camp. There is often a sense of victory and overcoming. But the battle has yet to begin. Much of the camp for me was spent asking God for strength and wisdom to live for Him AFTER the camp. Living for God during any Christian camp is simple, chicken-feet fare. The tough part is living for God everyday. And that is where I have often fallen.

So, the true challenge is to take up the cross daily... not yearly. I can take up the cross once a year, but I might put it down multiple times. Then of what point would my walk be? No, the toughness of a Christian soldier is built up in the daily walk. Of non-compromise in the smallest things, of the daily maintenance of his sword and his gear for battle.


Hmm I can see my toe at the bottom right.

The highlight of Meta camp for me was the Street-E. Talked to about 8 people. A Muslim, a Christian family, a Buddhist, a Jew, a freethinker and 2 other Christians. It was wonderful to be out there doing this stuff. Also camped outside a certain place at Lucky Plaza to try to talk to people coming out. But nobody had time.

The challenge is not in Street-E. All that is needed for that is faith, the understanding that I have nothing to lose and thick skin. The challenge is in evangelising everyday through my life and actions. Of not hanging out all the time with believers only.

The Three Bibles



These are the 3 bibles that I remember using most often. The first is four-in-one. Wonderful for home study. It's a parallel bible, which helps me to understand hard passages since I can scour the word for meanings and implications available only in certain translations. The second is my NIV one. I've used it for a bit over a decade. It's accompanied me to school, church, army. Everywhere but out in the field. It is protected by much plastic and reinforced with cardboard pieces. The third is a Gideon's Bible. It's my outfield bible. I put it in Ziploc and bring it out into the jungle. So far, it's travelled into the jungles of Singapore and Taiwan and the forests of Australia.

I'm not trying to say that I'm spiritual. For goodness' sake, having more bibles does not make one so. But let me talk about the significance of each bible in this new year.

1)The leftmost bible. The four-in-one parallel bible. This bible is wonderful. It is huge. It is great for bible study. But because of its weight and size, I do not bring it out of the house.

Certain aspects of my walk with God must be like that. I pray, I study God's word. And that is very good. But if my life is represented by this bible alone. It would mean that I never bring my faith out of the house.

I would never do evangelism with this bible. It is too cumbersome. In the same way, in this new year, I must be very careful not to encumber others in their journey to salvation or in their Christian walk.

For me, this represents much meditation and time spent with God, where I am closed off from the rest of the world. It is good and Christ Himself often did it, going to quiet places to pray. But it is also a reminder that I can spend much time with God alone, and still not accomplish the Master's will. Other sheep the Master has which are not of this sheep pen. Them also He will call. And will that be my feet which bring the good news?

2)The normal bible. The workplace and wherever I am. I bring this bible everywhere. In the same way, I must live for God. I must be a blessing, not a curse, an encouragement, not a discouragement in my ministry to both believers and non-believers (yeah, I know there's this politically correct term called "pre-believers" but I'm not too fond of that).

For me, this bible represents my faith in all situations and all settings. Within and without the church's ministry. Am I the same person wherever I go? Do I follow different principles in different places? Will I keep true to God, and ready to share His word everywhere to everyone, in season and out of season?

3)The outfield bible. It was with me for some of the worst days. It's not really clean, cuz I've handled it with dirty hands in the jungle (I shall not elaborate).

For me, it is a reminder that as light and salt, we must be prepared to take the word of God into the toughest conditions. The word of God is a weapon, a double-edged sword. A sword must be ready for use. This sword is living and active and penetrates to dividing bone and marrow, soul and spirit. We must be very careful to think of the word planted in us as weapons. Not ornamental trophy swords displayed on a rack far from public view.

And with these reflections, I shall begin this new year...

With the 3rd sleepover of the season! Tonight at Jesh's place.

Yay, and with the toe nail removed I can now run again.

I Plucked My Toe Nail Off!

All right.



This morning I decided that I had to pluck my toe nail off. Cuz I could see that it was starting to get infected. And I could see lots of water underneath the dead nail (bubbles, y'know). So woo hoo! I plucked it off. Yay!



So the question. Pain a not? Of course! Had to snip and cut and pluck. Took me almost an hour to do the whole thing. And when I reached the last part, where the toe nail is connected to the flesh. Wah, I almost felt like giving up at that point. But I resolved to carry on.



But am very glad I've done it. Quite an experience. Very pleased with myself.










I have a close-up of the toe way below. But I won't show it here cuz I just want to give the reader an option of not looking at the squirm-inducing image. (Though I know about 95% will scroll down for curiosity's sake anyway. But don't say I didn't warn you. It might be disturbing).


The highlight of yesterday was a nice stroll with Jeshua, Jing Yang and Joseph Poon from my place to the Levi/ Timothy BBQ at The Quartz. Well, actually, no. It was the longer walk with Jeshua after that back to the bus stop. About 6 klick or so I think. We discussed lots of stuff.


I really enjoyed the time at the BBQ. Was so much fun playing with my Pri 6s. (Who I could start calling "my Sec 1s" in a couple of days time). Looking at them graduate to YPM... Proud of them. Yet a tinge of sadness at seeing them leave the nest of protection and security. They are going to a place where they should and will be treated as youth. And youth make a lot more choices for themselves and are given a lot more freedom in many things. That is a necessary step but one not without its pitfalls.


I realised that I have so much to pray about these days. So many concerns and all. I just need to wait on God. And thus, my strategy for the coming Meta Camp, well, coming week, more like, is to take it easy and focus on waiting on God. After this whole season of waiting on God, there is at least one thing that I am quite certain off, that it is not the time for any added responsibility. It is the time to focus greatly on the present responsibilities.

That being said I just thank God so so much for this whole season.

Off to Meta Camp in a few hours.

Okay, as promised the photo of the toe is below. Viewer discretion is advised. Don't scroll down if you can't take it. Oh, I know you will anyway. Hee.

2 toes, 2 camps and a walk

Question: Which toe is injured?






Taking a closer look.

Well, actually it's the right one. The left one is recovering cuz the nail has already been mostly plucked off. What you see is the "baby" nail growing out. I injured the right one when I was playing soccer on Wednesday before the Christmas Party (which was rather enjoyable! 3 cheers for Elissa and Pearlyn!).

Think it'll drop off. Not sure when. Don't know why my big toe nails get injured so easily these days. Perhaps it's the shoes. Perhaps perhaps.

So my toe leaves me wondering how exactly I'm gonna get through the next 2 camps. First there'll be the Primary 6 farewell camp on Saturday and Sunday. Then there's the Meta camp from Mon to Thurs. I plucked the left toe nail out cuz too many kids stepped on it during the children's camps, and it became loose.

Not really pleasant to pluck out a toe nail in the middle of a camp, but oh well, I remember that God has brought me through worse days.

I think the injured toe is actually good for me, cuz it kinda forces me to slow down a bit. Can't go out and run. So I have to sit down and spend more time waiting on God. So yup, that's good, I suppose.

Painful at times though. On Wed night the toe was throbbing. But now it's much better.

I'm looking forward to the camps, yet half dreading them. Cuz of the nail, and also cuz it'll be a jam-packed week to come. Sun evening after church there's a BBQ for Levite/ Timothy Cell, Thurs after Meta there's Co-workers' night, Friday maybe a sleepover, Sat SUPA camp reunion. Sun, church. Monday, back to Smoooo.

Then we have the 14 weeks of school. And I'm wondering what courses to take the sem after; there won't be too much time to think when I bid for them. And I'm also wondering how to find work for my next long term break. Prob my only long one without an ICT, cuz in 2011, the battalion's gonna start its ICTs.

Sunday again

Was a good day today.

Went to the playground and played games with my Pri 6 class. Hee hee. At first everyone acted MATURE and didn't want to play. In the end they wanted to play Crocodile again. Haha. It's very... interesting. I for one openly admit I thoroughly enjoy playing children's games. But the children (becoming teenagers in a bit) won't admit it.

Been considering lately that it's been kinda hard to not keep growing in God and spending time lingering in the presence of God after camps. And thought that I lost a bit of that fire. But I know what's the reason- didn't spend enough time waiting on God. So when I came home from church today I acted on that thought. And it was an excellent time with God today.

Looks like my first uni hols will end soon (2 weeks). It's been nothing short of wonderful.

Will kinda miss my dear Pri 6. So good to see them all grown up. They'll be in the youth soon! I enjoyed myself thoroughly teaching them this year. Fantastic bunch of people. Hmmm. Hopefully the 26th to 27th thing works out fine.

But even as times in Children's Ministry are fun and all. I want to see them mature in Christ in the youth. I want to see them carrying on the good fight. I want to see them continuing to grow even though it is always so tempting to stop coming to church and all.

And was also thinking, my batch of 88 guys. Heh, we kinda got some degree of boasting rights. Cuz it's almost a decade and so many of us in CM. Then again, can't take this for granted and must continue to build each other up and keep praying.

Sleepover

Alright, we had a most awesome sleepover! Caleb, Daniel, Enos, James, Jeshua and myself. Joseph was too tired to come. He fell asleep at the YPM campsite.

Well we kept awake till about 0530 HRS. It was an extremely good time of sharing and fellowship. And I'm just really thankful to God for bringing so many of us in the same batch so far. That so many of us are still faithfully serving in CM, where we began together.

Even though there were good times in the past, I think perhaps one thing I'd like would be this. To spend more time going through these wonderful times and thanking God for them, rather than spending the bulk of my time reminiscing the "good ol times". I must labour to make good times now.

"I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil- this is the gift of God" -Ecclesiastes 3:12-13

"Then I realised that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labour under the sun during the few days of life God has given him- for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work- this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart." -Ecclesiastes 5:18-20


Alright, here's the food we had. I cooked more than I'd expected. Was expecting to like bond over the action of cooking. In the end, it was almost all done by Caleb and myself, but I'm very glad at how it worked out, that there was so much meaningful guys talk.

Okay. Here's the food!


Clockwise from top left: Chipolata sausages fried, some of the pasta, and the same sausages done up with tomatoes and eggs! All done by me. Hee hee. Quite pleased with myself- like the Encouragement board like that. Ok, not the best, and many can cook better, but eh, for me not bad already leh.

Some more my cooking style is known amongst my buddies to be rather haphazard. I'll just throw everything in and see what comes out. And this time it came out not too bad. The pasta sauce could have been better though, I'll admit. But pre-made... so hmmm... Caleb advises me to make it myself next time. Shall bear that possibility in mind.





Foooooood!

This is Caleb's dish. Potatoes, carrots, herbs.

The spread... at about 12 to 1a.m. I suppose food keeps people awake. My dad was asking me in the morn what we were cooking, cuz he could smell it from his bedroom upstairs.

Not in photo: The ice cream, the steamed buns, the croissants, the drinks.

Joseph, see what you missed out? Anyway I had your portion at about 5 plus in the morn. We actually left some for you lor. But since you couldn't make it, I reheated it and it became the first part of my breakfast.

The more I think about it, the more I'm thankful for all the good times I have right now, with all these bros, with my family at home, with friends outside. Truly, it's not always been so. Army days taught me that.

May I redeem my time as I live out my life in these days. (Okay that statement makes me sound as if I'm at the end of my life...) But really, I have many good days ahead this hols and I would be wise to fill them with meaningful activities. Let me not regret how I spend these hols!